▫ Nonsense of a deranged boy.

Staying up and watching TV again last night as usual.
Heyy, it's a holiday. :)

But then while watching one of them movies. Something crossed my mind.
How much I wanted Viv again back then when we broke up.
You do know I don't anymore. -.-

It just sort of flashed into my mind. That last day together for real.
And that day we last met. I just felt bad at myself. :\
I made myself look like a fool. A very desperate fool.

I just hope I don't look like a fool now either.
Since I want her so much. I wish she knew.
But I wouldn't dare say a word close to it.
I can't bring it up to myself the moment to say so.
The timing's probably not right.
In my case, it'll probably never be.

I can only hope she knows how I feel for her.
Though I can tell, she'll ignore this post. Or me eventually.
Sometimes it can be hard to tell someone you love them.
Predicting the outcome is like entering a dark room.
You can't find your way in it. Or know what's in there.

When she does know, I can only guess two parallel outcomes.
She'll ignore me for a very long time, possibly forever.
Well, that's what happened a few times already in different ways.

Or she'll accept the fact. And maybe even me.
But chances of that are like 1 to 100. Sadly.

Oh well,
keep dreaming, Chris.